[article] The Pronouns of the Brain

We have all heard the statements “Women are so dramatic” or “Men are so insensitive”. “Women are more caring”. “Men are more decisive.” Some of us agree; some of us disagree.

The truth, I think, is somewhere in between.

Recently, after an altercation with his female partner, one of my male friends quipped, “Women are so emotional”. I pointed out to him that that was a gender stereotype - to which he raised his eyebrows and said, "Is it though? It seems to be statistically true. Do you deny it?".

I don’t deny it. How could I deny statistics? The women in my life do indeed exhibit more emotions than the men, and I daresay most people would agree with this observation, as my friend was happy to point out.

But in my opinion, a stereotype can be true while also being oversimplified and unhealthy. Saying “Women are so emotional” and leaving it at that often sets the stage for a dicey ripple effect. Is it true in a lot of cases? Yes. Is it derisive of something not consciously under the subject’s control? Yes. Is it a beneficial formula to promote? No.

So, why are women supposedly emotional? Getting into this would instantly send us down the age-old rabbit hole of the nature versus nurture debate. The truth is, we don’t actually know. Because there is no way to conduct accurate psycho-social experiments by separating out the two factors during the growth period of a person. And while we don’t have proof that women are emotional due to nurture - we do know from decades of research by sociologists that societal input combined with the self-fulfilling nature of stereotypes affects the personality, i.e., it tunes women to be emotional (we are comparing the default personalities of men and women here - and not the moods and disturbances caused by variations in estrogen levels). But, is it completely nurtured or does nature play a part too? Again, we don’t know - and as long as we don’t, we should not assume either to be completely true.

Now you may ask, why does it matter? So what if women are called emotional, or even if they actually are? Why can’t we just accept it and move on? Well, it does matter, because it influences the direction of progress. Gender stereotypes contribute to gender representation in leadership positions. Until decades ago, women could not vote because they were too emotional and irrational. Well, that - and people believing that the mental exertion of voting would cause infertility (No, I am not making that up). Today, people (including women themselves) hesitate to vote for women candidates for the same reason (the emotional thing, not the infertility thing).

I am talking about women mostly here since I am one, but it all applies to men too. Shouldn't women have the chance to be non-emotional, and men, to be emotional - without being seen as exceptions to the rule? After all, no one wants to be anomaly.